Everything Spain Magazine, Sept 05

Word Perfect by Christopher Nye

Throwing yourself in at the deep end is a great way to Learn a language. Christopher Nye goes the full hog and tries out an intensive Spanish course in Madrid

People tend to be less enthusiastic about visiting Madrid, than, say Barcelona— it's not as fashionable, they say; or Granada — lacks the Moorish splendours; or Seville — no flamenco spirit... But I was captivated from the moment I arrived as my taxi sped from the airport through the two towers of the Puerta de Europa. I like a city with a sense of its own importance and Madrid has that in spades.
More to the point, they speak classic Castilian Spanish (the equivalent of the Queens English). I've come here on an intensive Spanish language course organised through Cactus Language. My poor Spanish has long been a source of embarrassment in the everything Spain office, which is why I'm now sitting, an hour after landing, in a small flat in the capital with an elderly lady named Senora Vallejo. She speaks no English; I speak (virtually) no Spanish, so having already used up my stock "Hola" and "'Que tal esta?"), the only sound now is of a clock licking loudly on the mantelpiece as we sit together smiling awkwardly... Things look up when her Penelope Cruz-look-alike granddaughter turns up. She explains that as she speaks some English, she's regularly drafted in to help out the Senora's student guests.

The first morning at 8.30am I find myself with 30 other students of all ages in a bright and cheerful classroom, nervously sitting a test of my abilities. Because I already have some understanding of Spanish - indeed, I once failed an 'O'-Level in it - I'm put in the Lower Intermediate class alongside five girls from Germany, Bulgaria, Ireland, New York and Libya, plus a Belgian chap, our ages ranging from 18 to mid fifties. By the end of the first 10 minute break the girls have
organised meeting up that evening and me and the Belgian have developed a healthy competitiveness.
Classes are organised in the mornings from 9.30am until siesta time at 2.30pm. I have three lessons each day; two language classes of two hours each and then an hour's 'culture', which today was about bullfighting and fiestas but also cover music, sport and other aspects of Spanish life. Classes are conducted entirely in Spanish and though the teachers seem to talk at incredible pace, there's a good reason for that. It's intimidating at first but then I realise you're not expected to understand every word. Instead you get the sense of the sentence and used to hearing the language as it's spoken so you're forced to learn, but in a gentle, friendly way without the time to worry too much about getting details wrong. These people know how to teach Spanish and I suspect I'll learn as much in one morning here as I would do in a whole term of evening classes back home.
I've already begun to remember words and back at the Senora's, I'm able to have rudimentary conversation. Tonight, over a delicious dinner of tortilla and pisto, we discus Madrid’s and London’s Olympic bids.

Today we've studied the imperative, which is used for orders, instructions and invitations. The greatest problem comes with the difference between the informal tú and polite usted forms. For example, in verbs ending -ar, the tú form ends in 'a', and those in usted end in 'e'. But verbs ending in -er do it the other way round. Confused? How is one supposed to remember all that in a hurry?
I'm reading Spanish newspapers and all the news is of Britain assuming the routing presidency of the EU. I just hope Tony Blair does something useful and insists foreign countries ditch the whole confusing tú and usted thing.
This evening I take myself off for a proper exploration of the city, down the Gran Vía, Palacio Real, Plaza Mayor. These may be the touristy bits but still they don't seem overwhelmed by visitors. I get the impression of a busy, working city that is clean and well laid-out. The people seem to be smarter and busier generally than in small towns too. Except for in one street that is, just off the Puerta del Sol, which turns out to be a road full of prostitutes. In Madrid the rough and ready seem to mingle happily with the rich and the cool.

Today in class we've moved on to the 'perfect' tense, one of several ways of saying things in the past. Spanish is the loveliest language to learn until you tackle the tenses, when it becomes rather more of a challenge. The teachers make it fun though; in five hours of lessons each morning I haven't been bored once as they come up with new and inventive ways to expand our vocabulary and grammar while never resorting to English.
After classes in the afternoon there's a free tour organised by the school to the Museo del Traje. Spanish-speaking readers will recognise this as a Museum of Costume. I however, had assumed it might be something to do with transport and only discovered my mistake halfway round after working out the Spanish for: "Why is this place full of clothes?"
Spend the evening at the cinema watching Kingdom of Heaven, the new Ridley Scott film about the Crusades. I understood very little of the dialogue but recognised a few imperatives as lots of people kept yelling at each other!

I've made a friend. Another English chap called Tony, who's in his late 40s and an absolute beginner, sent by his company who are planning to do business in Spain. He's enjoying the course but finding the pronunciation a problem. I sympathise because when I speak to people in shops I sometimes get frustrated when saying things in - to my mind - perfect Spanish, yet they don't seem to understand. But when Tony speaks Spanish I can see the problem; his pronunciation is just awful. I resolve to work harder on mine.
We have a pleasant chat over tapas and a few cañas (glasses of beer), and then a somewhat weaving trip home on the Metro: nice to see that they have 3 Metro system here that's simple enough to negotiate while a bit tipsy.

Is there a better hangover cure in the world than chocolate con churros? We keep hearing about the healthy Mediterranean diet but breakfast of thick chocolate dipped with tubes of deep-fried dough hardly seems that healthy. It's delicious though and this cafe near the school has a friendly atmosphere at this cool time of the day before the sun gets too hot. I can understand the gist of conversations of my fellow chocolatistas, and waitresses no longer hold any fear for me. Progress indeed.
Bit of a revision session at college. This week we've tackled a new tense, several other concepts and areas of vocabulary and had a good practice of them over the rest of the week. I'm awarded my certificates and then say goodbye to the other students, some of whom are here for the whole summer. Lucky them,
In the afternoon I head off to the Prado National Museum. It's every bit as impressive as I'd expected, each corner turned bringing new artistic wonders; things you've seen on a hundred postcards are suddenly there in front of you. Then a change of style as I do the Bernabeu stadium tour. Real Madrid's home turf, where I walking in the studprints of stars like Beckham, Owen, Ronaldo and Zidane.

My last morning, but before leaving I'm confident enough to get a haircut at a barbers shop. The hairdresser tells me that an English acquaintance on a costa has learnt no Spanish in four years of living there while his Arab neighbour in Madrid has become fluent in four months. We agree that it all conies down to motivation. Learning Spanish is not easy, but it can be fun. It seems to be a question of getting in there and giving it a go.
I say my goodbyes to Mrs Vallejo and Alessandra, but on the way to the airport I stop oft for some gifts at the Salamanca area of exclusive shops so beloved of Victoria Beckham. She said in an interview recently that she now loves living in Madrid, especially since she learnt some Spanish, notably the most vital words: "¿Donde esta Gucci?" I rest my case.

Christopher Nye attended a one-week general Spanish Coarse with Cactus Language, The cost of the course (20 group classes, five cultural classes) with accommodation with a host family and breakfast and dinner is £289. Flights are extra.
www.cactuslanguage.com 0845 130 4775.